By Bonnylad
A freelancer Scribe.
Courtship is solicitation of a lady, the wooing process, the coercion of the female gender for a certain period before marriage.
For how long us courtship supposed to take before popping the question, 'will you marry me?'
Did your relationship pass the courtship test? Or you simply bumped into your better half at a wetting joint and things happened?
What is the significance of courtship in relationships?
Every man wants an adorable, beautiful, lovely and expressive woman they will be bold and proud to show to their family and friends. A man's choice of a wife or spouse differs, as every man will go with his spec or rather prefer a personality that suits his taste.
I have heard countless of men, conversing on their choice of a woman they will want to get-down with. Many men prefer ladies with huge curves while some don't, some prefer ladies with a pretty face regardless of body curves or attraction while some men places a huge prospect on bodily shape attractive.
Funny and weird enough, some men prefer ladies that are heavily muscular while many men find it annoying and quite disgusting.
Uniquely, I got my taste too. As long as she is a woman with all feminine features in her, I'll go down with her.
Curves do fade, beauty just like a flower withers off, the young flawless skin ultimately gets wrinkled and therefore, chase the character in her.
Character rules.
Character, both in the budding love birds can well be established if those in the relationship are patient enough to tread the journey of courtship. Courtship to a high extent, enables one to sight pros and cons of the partner you are advancing your interests at. This grants you a golden chance of what they crave for, their detests, mood swings and how to handle and deal with each factor as it pop out.
In the days of black and white TV; parents had an outright obligation to scout for potential suitors to their kids. An aged man could spot a girl in her embryonic stages of development and later marry her through customary laws not really minding about her age.
This, to some extent cushioned the society from the incessant marital abuses emanating from marriages since, before a girl was hooked up to a man, whether agemates or varying age brackets, they were treated to marital rules that governed a successful marriage. A lady knew her roles in the house, how to treat her man etcetera.
On the flipside, men too, especially the novices in the field of marriage; were schooled on their newly acquired cadre and the calibre of the man the society expected from them.
This education prior to marriage was solely to endorse them as a paradigm, every revered marriage must be anchored on. And consequently, it paid off going by the least cases of marital violence reported.
In modern times, characterised by digitisation and cropping up of millennial generation, everything is always steered via the internet.
This generation braces electronic gadgets for everything they wish to pursue, at the expense of chatting a path out with those experienced in a given field.
This negligence has slapped the current generation in the face as most of them cannot amicably table their differences and find lasting solutions. The results then, are daunting and have constantly painted the institution of marriage in bad light.
Ask any Tom, Jack, Diana or Silprosa who have already tied themselves down to matrimony whether their relationship passed the courtship test and the answer got to be a NO!.
You dont expect two people that bumped into each other at a wetting joint or a drinking spree, or a similar pair that jostled into each other at some club dancing their hearts out and finally woke up the following day in someone's bed and decided to kickstart marriage life to have even courted!!
Relationships born and bred from online dating sites: tumblr, facebook etc have most of the times than not, lasted even for a fortnight since it never followed the logistics or the known principles for it to prosper.
Oftenly, they tend to be impulsive; in the sense that, physical attributes rather than character is the modulus the current generation use to hook up. Swiping through his facebook page; Nick comes across a lass with swarthy complexion coupling up with alluring looks and without keen scrutiny of her behaviour, love sprouts.
The bottom line to this article is the haste the current generation blindly treads through and ultimately settles down with a person they least know of character wise and the effects forthwith. What they fail to digest is the old adage that goes, haste makes waste. Even a good delicacy has to go through various processes combined with culinary skills that will consequently elicit a smile on visages of those gathered to dine.
This 'pizza and sausage generation' ought to decode and digest that a family is a microcosm of any society. And for this to hold, virtues need to be instilled in this generation from when they are in their early stages of development to value and respect each other.
They need to understand that not all marriages are rosy; some has prickly thorns that will ever treat their marriage life to eternal injuries that if they never have the heart of a lion and patience to amicably solve their relationship puzzles, wrangles will be the order of the day.
Marriage calls for men of mettle and wise women who got least time in meddling in other people's lives but solely sitting down to chat a way out to the differences they face. It requires lovebirds who have come of age, passing through a number of storms and ultimately calming it down with utmost maturity.
Most young couples I bumped into misses this point. Most resorted to hurling imprintables at each other, some elevated this to machete-wielding and physical combats as a way to settle their turbulent sea of love but instead, all these only intensifies the waves and dirtifies already murky waters.
Why should you engage in verbal or physical fights with someone you share emotional connections with? Does it signify the love lost? Or were you never taken through conflict resolutions techniques?
Millennial babies, do not be in a hurry to tie yourself to matrimony by sheer peer influence. Never get swayed into advancing at something just because your age mate did it. Everyone has varying reasons as to why they gave a shot at settling down and before it crosses your mind to do it, take notes from the experienced people whose marriage is an outright epitome of what successful marriages ought to be like.
It should go without saying that always be inquisitive to inquire whatever propelled them to stay that long with least hitches that their love still blossoms to date like they settled the other day.
The writer is not demonising early marriages, neither is he championing for it. But from experiences garnered overtime, conflict resolutions to these group under 24years tying themselves down to marriages has been a thorn in the flesh to them. Cases of domestic violence went viral, depression cases due to young men suffering silently just sky rocketed etc.
Embrace courtship, study the person you intend to get hooked to for sometime before you live under one roof to save yourself from tormenting lifetime love ulcers.
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Bonnylad byte: Opinions are like assholes😀😀😀and everyone has theirs.
This is my opinion and it's subject to both positive and negative criticism 👏👏👏👏
Bonnylad, the Literal Glutton.
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